The Power of Quiet: Personal Insights from Silent Retreats

In 2017, I faced a pivotal decision in my life—one only I could make, with no roadmap or advice to rely on. To navigate it, I designed a reflective process to slow down, focus inward, and access my deepest thoughts and emotions. The experience was profound, and since then, I’ve embraced this retreat annually—sometimes twice a year.

What follows is a blend of my personal experience and practical tips to help you create your own retreat or vision quest as some refer to it. Mine involves silence and fasting, but you can adapt it to suit your needs.

What Happens During a Retreat?

The essence of a silent retreat is creating a reflective space with minimal distractions or structure. Unlike workshops or retreats with classes and workbooks, this is simply about sitting still with yourself and exploring your inner world.

For me, two days of intentional silence, focused on answering a big question or connecting with my vision for the coming year, is far more powerful than spending two days alone at home or travelling. While traditional retreats avoid note-taking, I include it in mine—it helps me capture insights and clear mental clutter that might otherwise distract me.

A Typical Day on Retreat

On my retreat, I follow a simple, cyclical structure to balance mindfulness and reflection:

• Morning: I wake up naturally, usually around 7 a.m. (If you tend to sleep late, consider setting an alarm to start at a reasonable time.)
• Cycles: Each day is broken into 60-90 minute cycles of meditation and reflective writing. Meditation helps me silence mental chatter and notice my thoughts, emotions, and environment. Writing afterward captures insights, emotions, and recurring themes. I take a nap and do some stretching in the early afternoon.
• Evening: I spend time in nature, or watch the sunset.

The second day is pretty much a repeat of day 1. However it often feels qualitatively different, as my mind becomes quieter and more focused.

Below is an example of my retreat schedule. You can customise it to fit your preferences:

Day 1

• 8:00-9:30: Meditation
• 9:30-10:30: Reflective writing
• 10:30-12:00: Meditation
• 12:00-1:00: Reflective writing
• 1:00-2:00: Nap, yoga, or stretching
• 2:00-3:30: Meditation
• 3:30-4:30: Reflective writing
• 4:30-5:30: Meditation
• 5:30-6:00: Reflective writing

Day 2

• 8:00-9:30: Meditation
• 9:30-10:30: Reflective writing
• 10:30-12:00: Meditation
• 12:00-1:00: Reflective writing
• 1:00-2:00: Nap, yoga, or stretching
• 2:00-3:00: Meditation
• 3:00-4:00: Reflective writing
• 4:30-6:00: Consolidation: Reviewing notes, identifying themes, and making action plans or commitments.

What You’ll Need

Sacred Space

The retreat works best in solitude, free from physical and psychological distractions. Whether it’s a hotel room, a secluded spot in nature, or a quiet corner of your home, the key is isolation. If you share a living space, consider finding a separate location to avoid interruptions.

Prepare a dedicated “sacred spot” in advance—a comfortable and inspiring space with objects like cushions, blankets, or a yoga mat. If possible, choose a location with a view or access to nature. Avoid using your bed as your meditation spot to keep your retreat space distinct from your sleep space.

Fasting (Optional)

I practice fasting during my retreat, consuming only fluids like water or herbal teas. Fasting sharpens my focus, heightens my senses, and deepens the overall experience for me. However, consult your doctor if you have any health concerns. If fasting isn’t for you, stick to light, healthy meals and avoid alcohol or heavy foods.

A Big Question (Optional)

On my first retreat, I prepared and reflected on a “big question” I wanted to answer in my life. Over time, I’ve found that simply sitting in silence allows important thoughts and buried issues to emerge naturally. Experiment to see what works for you.

What to Expect

It’s normal to feel apprehensive before your first retreat—I did too. My recurring fears include:

• “Will I get bored?”
• “What if I don’t gain any insights?”
• “Will I be okay without food?”
• “It will be too hard”

To be honest, my mind repeats the same fears every year and each year, these fears prove unfounded. I’ve discovered that I can easily fast for two days without discomfort, and even 90-minute meditation sessions pass quickly.

The first day often feels like clearing mental clutter—like releasing pressure from a bottle. By day two, my mind is calmer, with fewer distractions, being more peaceful and allowing deeper insights to emerge.

Separating periods of meditation/silence from journaling helped me to focus on becoming present instead of writing down the endless stream of consciousness. I used crayons to complement written notes. They helped to express thoughts and feelings that were hard to verbalise.

That said, your experience may vary. You could encounter two days of discomfort, profound insights, or unexpected surprises. Stay open to whatever happens.

Evening Challenge

In the beginning, the solo evening was the hardest for me. After a full day of silence, the hours before bedtime felt endless. I recommend avoiding distractions like reading, texting, or social media. Instead, try watching the sunset, taking a walk, stargazing, or reviewing your notes. Over time, I’ve learned to embrace this period of stillness and it has become easier and more joyful.

Tips for a Meaningful Experience

• Communicate in Advance: Let loved ones know where you’ll be and that you’ll be unreachable. Set your “out of office” response and notify friends and family.
• Safety First: If you’re in nature, prepare for weather, insects, and other potential risks.
• Journaling Tools: Bring a paper journal, pens, and crayons—or use a tablet in flight mode. Avoid digital distractions.
• Be Kind to Yourself: If two days feel too intense, start with one day or even a half-day. There’s no “right” way to do this—adjust as needed.
• Celebrate the End: Plan a special meal or treat to mark the conclusion of your retreat.
• Post-Retreat Support: Arrange to debrief with a coach, counselor, or trusted friend. Processing your experience with someone who understands can be invaluable

 

Final Thoughts

A retreat is a deeply personal journey, and no two experiences are the same. You may find it hard to articulate what happened or share your insights with others. Focus on how the retreat made you feel and what you’ve gained, rather than trying to explain every detail.

Above all, listen to your mind and body. Distinguish between discomfort (which often leads to growth) and pain (which signals the need to stop).

I hope these guidelines inspire you to embark on your own vision quest. If you do, I’d love to hear about your experience and learn from your journey!